Settling for less or waiting for God’s best
Written By Natalie & Anthony
How to know He or she is the one God intended for me?
How many times have we suffered broken hearts thinking God I thought this person was the one for me. We had our entire future planned out. “He/She was perfect for me” but things just didn’t work out.
We are left crying and questioning God as to why he allowed this to happen.
So recently I had attended a youth conference about dating, and the speaker shared a story that resonated deeply with the youth in attendance. The story was about a Dad and his 3 year old son on a trip to the farm. The story went like this;
As they arrive at the farm the son is amazed by all the animals. The father is passionately showing his son the farm and teaching him all the animals names. Now as they are walking passed the cows the son stops to look at the cow poo that is on the floor. The father looks at the son already knowing what his intentions are. The father tells his son
“Son come here don’t touch that, that is not for you to touch.” However the son starts to reach down to grab it, and the father once again tells his son not to grab that saying
“Son don’t touch that there is something better I want to show you.” The son stops looks at his dad and then starts to reach down again. The Dad tells his son one more time not to touch it. The son stops looks at his dad then quickly bends over and grabs the poo.
The child now with smelly and dirty hands just looks at his dad with an innocent look and cries. The father looks at his son and says…
“Son I told you not to touch it, I wanted to show you the horses so you could pet them now look at you, you cannot pet them now with your dirty hands.”
Why did I share this story and what does it have to with waiting for Gods best?
Well God is like the loving father in this story, and we are like the son. God always wants what is best for his children and will always lead us in the direction we are meant to go, however he will not force us.
Gods promises for us are in his word. God like the Dad in this story tells us look my child I have this for you, but it is up to you to decide whether you want to follow me to see what I have for you or decide to stay and pick something up that does not even compare to what I have for you.
Oftentimes unwillingness to heed God’s voice leads to delaying what God has intended for us.
I want to share another real life example of someone who much like the young boy in the previous story was settling for something less than what God intended for her life.
“I have flash backs of the many times God’s answer was NO. My heart couldn’t let go! It couldn’t let go of the daily psychological abuse, the constant tears. I felt like I needed that pain from the man who I thought I ‘loved.’ The man I thought was “the one!”
I always thought about the good days where he told me he loved me, that he would do anything for me, so the abuse didn’t seem too bad. He would call me ugly, he said I didn’t know anything at all, he would say to my face that I didn’t love him and that I treated him badly. “Why wasn’t my love enough? Am I not worth being loved?”
Those are thoughts that ran through my head on a daily basis. One day I finally opened my eyes. From all the hurt ‘the one’ put me through, I finally decided to end the relationship. It sure hurt, but I also felt all of God’s presence and love pouring inside of me. I was finally able to feel peace! Slowly, I am also seeing what God intends for my life, just by simply letting go of what God repeatedly told me NO”.
Maybe your reading these examples at this moment in time and saying God this is me, but maybe you can change him/her. Just maybe I can hold on a little longer and things will suddenly get better(settling for less).
God is very clear in his word about being unequally yoked and the dangers of that. OR maybe you currently find yourself waiting for God’s best doing things the right way but wondering how long must you wait. Wherever you currently find yourself the man/woman that God has for you will certainly be God’s best.
But how do I know for sure this is God’s best?
Spiritual discernment through prayer and God’s word are a necessity in understanding if the person in your life is the partner God truly intends for you. If you currently find yourself in a season of waiting then continue to pray and wait for GOD’s perfect timing. In the mean time I hope the following helps you in discerning whether It is truly GOD’s best or settling for less.
LOVE
God’s best will love you not simply with words but with actions. A pure love that isn’t driven solely by lust, but by love that nurtures and cares wholeheartedly about your relationship with GOD. He/she will love GOD above all things. God will be first in their life, following GOD you will be their priority. They will always be by your side every day, and you will never have to question the love they have for you.
RESPECT / FAITHFULNESS
GOD’s best will respect you. Not only that but they will respect your family. They will respect your boundaries. If the person your dating is being abusive emotionally, physically, sexually than I can assure you that God has better things for you.
Big one here that sometimes gets overlooked as well, they will not be following/liking hundreds of naked woman/men on social media. This may seem extreme to some but it is also definitely a sign of respect to the person you love. GOD’s best will only have eyes for you.
GOD’s best will treat you like the princess or prince of GOD that you deserve to be treated like.
PATIENCE
Equally yoked relationships should share the same goals relationship wise. For Christians this means a relationship that leads to marriage.
If there is no intentions to marry then why even date?
In the dating phase patience is very important. Wanting to Hold those sexual desires until marriage can be a sign of patience and a showing that GOD’s spirit dwells in that person. Even if you have had sex in the past GOD still gives the opportunity to do things the right way moving forward.
2 Corinthians 5: 17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!”
Do not let these thoughts be a justification to have sex before marriage. “Oh I’ve already done it before why should I wait now, or what if were not sexually compatible” trust me if it’s from GOD you’ll be compatible. GOD knows what we like. Sex is good and a gift from GOD.
GOD wants it to be enjoyed IN MARRIAGE. However sex is not the end all be all. God’s best will patiently wait for you until you both are ready.
FORGIVENESS
GOD’s best will be have a forgiving heart. They will not hold grudges against the mistakes you make or the errors of your past. Much like Christ they will love you regardless of your imperfections.
James sums up pretty well how to avoid rough patches in relationships
James 1:19 “My beloved brothers, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
A willingness to listen, forgive, and communicate when mistakes are made are so vitally important in relationships.
HUMILITY
A GOD fearing man/woman of GOD will be humble because Christ was humble, and if the holy spirit truly dwells in them, then it only makes sense for them to be humble as well.
To sum it all up
Nobody is perfect. Life is a constant growing process you may find yourself or your partner lacking in some of these areas and that is OK (if your lacking in all these areas that is not OK and please allow us to pray for you)
There should be a mutual desire to grow, & GOD’s partner for you will compliment you. Your weaknesses will be their strengths & vice versa. There will be a desire for spiritual, and emotional growth together. The desire for physical intimacy is completely normal but it should be reserved for the right time. GOD’s best will never give up on you and will love you even in life’s darkest moments.
If you feel you are currently with someone who is less than GOD’s best. Now is the time to let go. The pain may be great but GOD has something so much better for your life. And if you are waiting for GOD’s best do not become anxious your current season of waiting is serving it’s purpose.
GOD’s best for your life is right around the corner!<3
Please feel free to comment down below and if you would like prayer please feel free to contact me on my social media or email.
Doing GOD’s work. Here to serve you 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing! Was truly blessed by this. True love waits! May God continue to dwell on you both! 😊
Wow! This was a great read. A great reminder to not grow tired and settle for just anyone. May the Lord keep strengthening us. It’s a tough world, easily you become tempted. You start to listen to all the other voices. Why not listen to the One voice who created us and knows us best.
Thanks for the article!